The End Of An Era

I guess I should start of this post with a huge... "HAPPY HALLOWEEN"!!

What do you have planned tonight? Trick or treating? A party? Scary movie night? Or do you just see Halloween as another Friday night? This Halloween really is the end of an era for me. It is the first year where I will not be partaking in the traditional night of getting Aalliyah all dressed up and taking her out trick or treating. It was always such an exciting night for her. I used to love watching the excitement on her face all day building up to Halloween night, much like the excitement of Christmas eve! I would paint her face in some "undead and bloody" fashion and we would venture outside. It didn't matter that it was freezing, dark and sometimes raining . She would go door to door braving all the elements filling up her goody bag. More often than not her cousin would come along and they always had a tradition of going home emptying all their loot and setting up there own swap shop. Two little business people exchanging sweets and chocolate like stocks and bonds.

Aalliyah is 12 in February and while there are many kids that still go trick or treating her age (and older in some cases) its clear she is now just too old for the whole trick or treating experience. I find it really sad as it is just another reminder that she is inevitably growing up. Having said that I cannot be sad for too long, as she is growing up into a wonderful young lady and her unselfish nature meant tonight she wanted nothing more than to stay home and give out sweeties to all the children that will come knocking. She was as excited to do this than she had been to go out trick or treating herself in previous years and it was so lovely to see. Unfortunately I am working and wont be back until later on this evening so will be unable to enjoy this with here, so she is off down her nans tonight for "operation trick or treater's." 

What are you doing tonight? What ever it is I hope you have a wonderful time and above all else have fun and be safe!

Have a wonderful Halloween.

I'm Lonely.. Don't Judge Me

Loneliness affects everyone of us at some point in our lives. It has no interest in our gender, age, race.. It just hits us. It can affect us in many different ways, from lack of friendships in primary school right through to later in life, when you are faced with things like divorce and loss. Sometimes you are at your loneliest even when you are surrounded by family and friends. It's not just about being physically alone. It's a state of mind, a feeling of isolation. Feeling lonely its not something that I would openly admit before now. People that know me would paint a very different picture. I'm not what you would perceive as your "typical" lonely person. I work in a customer facing environment so I am always upbeat and chatting. Despite perceptions of your "typical" lonely person, I have great friends and family and generally do have a great life. It's not perfect does anyone really have the perfect life? But still I'm lonely..

I will be turning 30 in a few months and this has certainly made me reevaluate things in my life. Don't get me wrong, If I could go back and change things I probably wouldn't. I have a wonderful daughter and even though plans didn't work out as I had hoped I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and my past has made me who I am today and everything that has happened has led me up to where I am meant to be. I settled down very early on in life. I was both married and a mother at the age of 18. My relationship has since broken down and I have been a single mum for the best part of 6 years now. Although we both knew it was over and that there would be no chance of reconciliation, neither of us seemed to officially end the relationship and I seemed to spend the past few years in limbo. I can't help but wonder where I would be now if I had ended the relationship there and then and not wasted so many years doing nothing and not moving forward. Would I be married? Maybe have another child? I know its never to late for these things but with an 11 year old daughter I do sometimes feel like I have missed my chance.

Anyway, I seem to be derailing from the subject a bit but I wanted to make you aware of what has led me to this point in my life. I would say its only in the past few years I have made the most changes in my life. I started working after being out of work for far too long that I care to mention, I have lost a significant amount of weight (around 5 stone so far - Whoop) and finally feel like I can leave my past relationship and move forward. So why do I feel more lonely than I ever have before? It's so easy for people to pre judge me and assume I "need" a man and should just get myself out there. I am aware that a relationship is not going to just fall into my lap but being single for so long and having that one singular serious relationship behind you hardly gives you the boost you need to put yourself out there again. Then there are the others that assume I just need a quick fix. A fling to "sort me out". Now granted being single for so long means that my love life seems none existent theses past few years but it is not the be all and end all. A quickie really will not "sort me out". It is not that much of a "magic wand" 

Wouldn't it be great if there was a quick fix for loneliness? It's something that has been with me for so long it seems to be the only emotion I feel at times. Its so hard to watch other people celebrating such wonderful things like children and engagements. I know that sitting on the sidelines and watching everyone else live their lives is going to do nothing to improve mine and the only person who can get me out of this lonely funk.. is me! Lonely isn't who I am its just what I feel (at times) It doesn't define me or make me any less of a wonderful person. If something is broke, then you fix it and I am confident that things will change for the better for me.

Do you experience loneliness at times? What things have left you feeling isolated or alone? There are plenty of support networks out there. Talking your feelings through with someone can make all the difference..

The Ideal Home Show At Christmas

This November Event City, Manchester plays host to The Ideal Home Show at Christmas. Running from the 14th - 16th November it is the ultimate shopping experience. With over 300 exhibitors its the perfect place to find everything on your Christmas list and has the added bonus of being all under one roof. Christmas shopping is a nightmare at the best of times so what better way to take the stress out of it by taking one day out and crossing all them gifts off of your list in one shopping trip.

Weather you are looking for decorations for you home, the ultimate Christmas dinner with all the trimmings or the latest tablet, with the huge amount of exhibitors spanning over 7 different sections , you are sure to find something for everyone.

The different sections covered at the show are

Interiors and home accessories
Food and drink
Home improvements and outdoor living
Fashion and beauty
Technology and gadgets
Gifts
Decorations

You will be spoilt for choice at the variety on offer and will find everything needed to make your Christmas magical this year. Plus with the creative demonstrations from making bunting to floral creations you really will have a hands on shopping experience. You may even be one of the lucky few chosen to get up and get creative with Mr Laurence Llewelyn- Bowen himself! What ever you get up to on the day, I guarantee you will have such an amazing day, you will want to return year after year. So don't miss out on this amazing event, book your tickets now.

Fancy getting your hands on some free tickets? I have a pair of tickets to giveaway to one lucky person. Enter using the simple rafflecopter form below and good luck.

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