My New Year Commitments

I don't believe in New Years resolutions. For me when ever I make a resolution it's like I am immediately setting myself up for a fail. The minute I tell myself I must quit something, it makes it near on impossible to do. I used to be a smoker and I have lost count of the amount of times I have quit on New Years and then started up again within a few days. I did eventually quit after a few attempts and it was not a New Years resolution nor was it because I had told myself I "must" quit (although I needed to) Instead I told myself I was going to try my best and attempt to stop smoking. If I failed then it was ok and I could simply try again. When we make (and then break) resolutions it leaves us feeling defeated and dissapointed in ourselves so this year I decided to make some New year commitments instead. I made a commitment to myself to "try" and change certain things in my life. Nothing was set in stone, I am not setting myself for a fail, I am simply commiting to trying. So here are my own personal New Years commitments for 2015.

• Eat breakfast every single day - Ok , this may sound like a silly one but for me it's actually quite necessary. I used to have such a rubbish routine when it came to my diet. I would literally never have breakfast and it really is the most important meal of the day. Now that I am back on track with Weight Watchers it is even more important to have a hearty breakfast each day to set me up for the day and really give my weight loss a boost.

• Drink more water - Again another very simple one. Most people drink water as a normal part of their daily routine. I would literally drink zero water daily. Just a few cups of coffee and plenty of Coke zero (another slight addicition I have kicked) but no water. So this year I have made water my new best friend. My fridge is stocked up daily and I always have a bottle with me. It is such an amazing aid to your weight loss and remarkable for your skin.

• Be a little more selfish - An odd one this, as selfish is considered to be an ugly trait to have. But this year needs to be a little more about me. Don't get me wrong Aalliyah will always come first and nothing will ever change that but I really need to spend more time doing what makes me happy, after all I am more than just a mum.

I am hoping this year will be a wonderful year for me. I am looking forward to making so many more amazing memories with family and friends and just enjoying every moment I can. We spend far too much time focusing on the negatives in life and worrying about things that more often than not either wont happen or are out of our control anyway. What will be will be. Enjoy it.. Live, laugh and love in 2015...

Happy New Year

Almost Thirty

For the best part of this year, whenever someone has asked me my age my response has always been "I'll be turning 30 in December" or "Nearly 30" Never have I answered with my actually age of 29. For someone who has been dreading turning 30 all year, I am ever so quick to put myself into that age bracket before I have even hit it. Having spent lots of time in a state of "pre-thirty" devastation I have come to the conclusion that although my age is ever increasing and out of my control, this is not the case with my life. I still have control over it so why on earth is an age bracket going to make a difference to that. So instead of focusing on all the things I will have not achieved before reaching this milestone age I am focusing all my positive energy into all of the wonderful things i "am" going to achieve in the next stage of my life. They say that life begins at 40 but for me I reckon its 30. This is going to be my decade. I can feel it. Work, study, learning to drive, new friends and experiences are all part of my achievements I am aiming for in my thirties. 

Now don't get me wrong.. I am not getting out the slippers and knitting needles just yet. I am still a young, vibrant thing and have every intention of raving on well into the next decade and beyond. I may well relive some of my "twenties youth" while I still can, maybe grab some Basement Jaxx tickets and throw down some shapes at the concert?, go on a "twenties only" weekend? or even hit the local foam party at the weekend? Ok maybe not the foam party, I didn't even enjoy this when I was 16! 

Did any of you dread turning 30? Or did you like me go over things you wish you had done before hitting a certain age? One thing's for sure. I am going to embrace my birthday and welcome it with open arms. I plan to celebrate with all the people I love. Here's to the next decade!

*This post was written in Collaboration with 02

I'm Lonely.. Don't Judge Me

Loneliness affects everyone of us at some point in our lives. It has no interest in our gender, age, race.. It just hits us. It can affect us in many different ways, from lack of friendships in primary school right through to later in life, when you are faced with things like divorce and loss. Sometimes you are at your loneliest even when you are surrounded by family and friends. It's not just about being physically alone. It's a state of mind, a feeling of isolation. Feeling lonely its not something that I would openly admit before now. People that know me would paint a very different picture. I'm not what you would perceive as your "typical" lonely person. I work in a customer facing environment so I am always upbeat and chatting. Despite perceptions of your "typical" lonely person, I have great friends and family and generally do have a great life. It's not perfect does anyone really have the perfect life? But still I'm lonely..

I will be turning 30 in a few months and this has certainly made me reevaluate things in my life. Don't get me wrong, If I could go back and change things I probably wouldn't. I have a wonderful daughter and even though plans didn't work out as I had hoped I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and my past has made me who I am today and everything that has happened has led me up to where I am meant to be. I settled down very early on in life. I was both married and a mother at the age of 18. My relationship has since broken down and I have been a single mum for the best part of 6 years now. Although we both knew it was over and that there would be no chance of reconciliation, neither of us seemed to officially end the relationship and I seemed to spend the past few years in limbo. I can't help but wonder where I would be now if I had ended the relationship there and then and not wasted so many years doing nothing and not moving forward. Would I be married? Maybe have another child? I know its never to late for these things but with an 11 year old daughter I do sometimes feel like I have missed my chance.

Anyway, I seem to be derailing from the subject a bit but I wanted to make you aware of what has led me to this point in my life. I would say its only in the past few years I have made the most changes in my life. I started working after being out of work for far too long that I care to mention, I have lost a significant amount of weight (around 5 stone so far - Whoop) and finally feel like I can leave my past relationship and move forward. So why do I feel more lonely than I ever have before? It's so easy for people to pre judge me and assume I "need" a man and should just get myself out there. I am aware that a relationship is not going to just fall into my lap but being single for so long and having that one singular serious relationship behind you hardly gives you the boost you need to put yourself out there again. Then there are the others that assume I just need a quick fix. A fling to "sort me out". Now granted being single for so long means that my love life seems none existent theses past few years but it is not the be all and end all. A quickie really will not "sort me out". It is not that much of a "magic wand" 

Wouldn't it be great if there was a quick fix for loneliness? It's something that has been with me for so long it seems to be the only emotion I feel at times. Its so hard to watch other people celebrating such wonderful things like children and engagements. I know that sitting on the sidelines and watching everyone else live their lives is going to do nothing to improve mine and the only person who can get me out of this lonely funk.. is me! Lonely isn't who I am its just what I feel (at times) It doesn't define me or make me any less of a wonderful person. If something is broke, then you fix it and I am confident that things will change for the better for me.

Do you experience loneliness at times? What things have left you feeling isolated or alone? There are plenty of support networks out there. Talking your feelings through with someone can make all the difference..

Groundhog Day

Do you ever have them days where it seems as if you are just reliving a previous day? I'm not talking about a case of deja vu , I'm talking about those days you wake up and just know what the day will bring ? Like you are doing a previous day all over again? Well that's what Saturday was like for me. Not because of some spooky time warp or some cosmic, divine intervention, but just simply because it was a day that I had done so many times before.

You see Saturday is weigh in day for me. Although I should probably use the past tense for that sentence. It "was" weigh in day for me. But given the fact that I seem to have dropped off of the weight watchers wagon all together , Saturdays seemed to just become Saturdays again. So this weekend saw me returning to my meeting. It was my day one all over again.. My fresh start day. Most people only seem to have one "day 1" all over again. I seem to have had far too many that I care to remember. I must seem like the queen of excuses just lately as this year there has been something happening in my life to test me at each and every single turn. The minute I feel like I am overcoming one hurdle, another one is waiting for me around the corner, much more bigger and difficult to handle than the last. But everyone has difficult times right? Everyone experiences heart aches and hardships in their lives so why do I constantly use any stress in my life as an excuse to over indulge and forget about my weight watchers journey all together?

For far too long now I have been intent on beating myself up and dwelling on the fact that I am the same weight that I was last year. So what?! I'm not back where I started, I haven't put all that weight back on and I haven't given up and quit weight watchers all together. No one judged me when I went to my first meeting and tipped the scales at almost 20 stone so why on earth should I believe that people are going to judge me for losing weight more slowly than others or achieving a lesser result every week. I have done amazing (tooting my own horn here) to lose 5 stone so far. Recent holidays have swerved that more to the 4 stone mark now but who cares? I seem to have well and truly woken up and smelt the coffee. It doesn't matter how long it takes me to get to my destination. What matters most Is that I don't stop my journey.

So this is me.. Starting again and getting back into that place I love. Where I felt happy because it 't truly didn't feel like dieting. This is me getting back into that healthier lifestyle and making wonderfully filling and healthy meals again as opposed to grabbing a quick snack. This is me realizing again that nothing tastes as good as losing weight feels.

So Saturday may well have been my groundhog day but I am in the right mindset now that it is not going to repeat itself anytime soon. Here is to a wonderful week of smart food choices, tracking and enjoying weight watchers once more...

Delicious - Magazine Review

Delicious magazine offers readers so much more than your typical "foodie" magazine. Not only is it bursting with mouthwatering recipes and meal ideas, its also packed full of indispensable articles from healthy eating to the top ten must have kitchen gadgets, not to mention all the stunning food photography! This is a definite must have magazine for anyone who enjoys spending time in the kitchen. 

At first I was concerned that like a lot of other magazines in a similar genre, the magazine would be full of adverts and that when it came down to it, the actual content would be a tiny amount. I couldn't have been more wrong. Yes, there were adverts but these were few and far between, and each one relevant to the magazines niche. 
I fully recommend this magazine, whether you cook a little or a lot, there is something for everyone inside!

Why not head over to "Lets Subscribe" where you can subscribe to this and many other magazines and even bag yourself a massive saving in the process! The cover price of this magazine is £3.80 and worth every penny. But you can save up to 31% through a 12 month subscription.

The Fabulous 50

As most of you that follow me know, I have been on a weight loss journey with Weight Watchers since October last year. A journey which I was hugely sceptical about and one that I didn't hold out any hope of getting anywhere with. In fact if it wasn't for a friend of mine posting a status about considering joining herself, I would have probably never even joined. So here's to her (She knows who she is)

I'm so glad that I did decide to join as I have had such good results and find it so easy to follow. Its not a diet for me and is more of a lifestyle change which is even better as it has a positive impact of Aalliyahs health and lifestyle as well as my own. I am always cooking from scratch now as opposed to bunging anything in the oven. I eat truck loads of fruit and vegetables now (as does Aalliyah) and because I am not buying any high calorie or sugary snacks, Aalliyah is eating much more balanced and healthy snacks every day. On top of all the healthy food choices, I am getting so much more exercise now than I ever did before. I try to walk anywhere and everywhere (within reason), do regular workouts at home and play all kinds of energetic dance games with Aalliyah (xbox). Aalliyah has always had masses of energy so she welcomes any excuse to come along for walks now which in turn is making her more fit and healthy, and has helped her asthma massively  to the point where she was easily able to take part in cross country trials earlier this year.

So why have I named this the fabulous 50? I hear you say. No, I haven't reached that golden age just yet, although the grey hairs indicate I'm not far off! I was actually presented with a certificate at one of my weekly meetings a few weeks back. It was to mark my achievement of losing 50lbs. A massive milestone and one I never imagined I would lose. I still think to myself , why didn't I do something sooner? I have been unhappy with my weight for the best part of my life so could have made a change a long time ago. But that doesn't matter. What matters is I made the decision to change what I wasn't happy about and with determination and a positive, can do attitude I am seeing the results!

I have managed to meet (online) lots of people who are also on a weight loss journey and weather it is through blog posts, Facebook, or even Instagram pictures, I have found each and everyone of them to be a great support.

So thank you to everyone who takes the time to stay updated on how I am getting on and for all of you who let me share in your weight loss journey too!

Here's to the next 50!!!!

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I regularly post my weight watchers related updates using IG. Through self portraits to meal photos. So if you would like some support on your journey then please get in touch by any means.

TV Time.. How Much Is Too Much?

Most children are introduced to television at a young age. I remember when my own daughter watched her first bit of television and watching her nearly burst with excitement as she watched the colourful things bopping around on screen and listened to the music. She would often sit in her bouncy chair after breakfast and watch something (Fimbles , If my memory serves me right) But did this make me a bad parent? Did that hour of television make me a lazy parent? Regardless of what the other hours in the day were filled up with?

There have been endless studies into the link between how much time a child spends watching TV and their weight. Personally I think this is ridiculous. Children of overweight parents are more likely to be overweight and children that do not participate in games/sports/outdoor play are more likely to be overweight but the fact is that nine times out of ten the parents and the lifestyle they choose for their child will determine weather or not your child will be a healthy weight. Not how much time is spent watching TV.

You will always find contradictions in what ever research you come across. My daughter is 9 years old, and in very good shape athletically as well as having a good and balanced diet. She still enjoys her not so good sweet things (in moderation) and YES! she does watch television. In the mornings , after getting up, having breakfast etc there is no time for television, which is good as we would end up being late! Even I tend not to watch as I always end up sucked in to some story on daybreak and end up running late. But when she comes home from school, she normally spends the first hour, getting changed, doing homework etc then I will let her have a few hours of television (Providing her homework/reading is complete). During this time she will no doubt have dinner. I live in a ground floor flat so Its not a case of laziness having dinner infront of the TV, but I have no dining room and no where to eat other than our small coffee table that we sit at and eat. Yes the TV is still on at this time, but more or less not being watched and we still enjoy conversation over dinner abot her day at school and so on.

Aalliyah has watched TV from a very young age. She has also (past year) began using the internet a lot more. She does research for projects and homework, but also spends a lot of time on various websites, such as Cbbc, Mathletics etc. I have yet to find her on a game which had no learning value! She is doing fantastically at school, with high levels in Maths and English. Again yet more information which contradicts most of the research you will find online.

Overall I would say Aalliyah watches TV on average 2 hours a day, more at weekends, if we are not out somewhere and she will play a DVD at night when she goes to bed. The DVD is never watched past 5 mins and she is asleep. But these are all choices that I make for her as her parent, I feel they are right for us as a family, and If I felt they were affecting her behaviour or abilities in anyway, I would change her routine.

Every single parent is different, and I guess there is no right or wrong answer to the worldwide debate of TV time.