Time For Fatty To Face The Music

 

It is Thursday tomorrow which means one thing... "Weigh In"! Normally I am not bothered by the thought of the scales, even if I think I'm due a small gain or maintain, I take it in my stride because I know I can work it off just as quick. So why is this week so different? Well I'll tell you why. Its because I haven't tracked anything for about 2 weeks. To be fair, I have been inhaling my food like a gannet so fast lately that I wouldn't even have the time to track it beforehand. I just dont know whats wrong with me lately.

I went to Blackpool last week and even though I was only going for 3 days, I knew I was going to miss weigh in so gave myself a week off of weight watchers. Doing this instantly gave me free reign to eat what I wanted whenever I wanted. Starting with the full english breakfasts at the hotel to the bags of donuts on the pier. I was an eating machine. The more I ate the more I felt crap about eating it in the first place, so what was the solution? Eat some more! Don't get me wrong I wouldn't change my time away as we had a lovely time and some lovely meals out and I always said I wasn't going to go away and be pointing but "Hello"! .. I am not on holiday anymore, so why can't I get rid of this greedy voice in my head thats always telling me I will start afresh tomorrow?

Anyway this is what has led to me sitting here on the night before weigh in venting and fretting about my 6+ lb weight gain I am convinced I am getting tomorrow. But lets face it, the fear doesn't seem to be doing the tick as I have just polished off pop corn and Cadbury cookies prior to starting this post! So maybe I need that gain to kick start my journey again?

But lets look at it from another perspective. So I gain x amount tomorrow. Will it stay forever? Can I never get rid of it? Hell no! I'll be working my ass off getting rid of it by the next week so why should I let myself get so angry with the thought of a gain? It's because I am angry with myself for letting those bad habits and old ways sneak back in and without realising it, eating like I was before I joined Weight Watchers. I am great at giving people advice and pep talks about how to not let it ruin your goals and move onwards and upwards when you have a set back but taking my own advice? Now thats a harder pill to swallow.

Well what can I do? I cant change the fact that I am getting weighed and I cant erase all the crap I have eaten these past few weeks so I need to face them scales head on and take whatever result I get. The fact is this isn't a quick fix its a lifestyle change and one of the longest and hardest journeys I will make in my life and I have already achieved so much since last year. I wont let it beat me, I will just come back more determined to lose this weight!

Until tomorrow.....